Born Ugly Magazine » Beer

Fucked Up Friday Night: New Belgium Prickly Passion Saison

The Animal — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 02:44:08 +0000

This is a new selection in the New Belgium Lips of Faith series (basically their occasionally brewed special beers). It’s funny because only a few years ago this would have been written off as a lady drink because it contains fruit. I believe it was Miller that even had advertisements making fun of people for putting fruit (lemons, limes) in their beer, only to do an about face and sell lime flavored beer a few years later. Shitbirds! Well in any case, the general beer drinking population has thankfully grown increasingly more intelligent and open minded, therefore we are all able to enjoy this oddity of a brew. It works well that this is a saison (a style of beer that typically has fruit, spice, or herb characteristics), so the inclusion of seemingly tropical fruits feel right. The flavors are sweet and a hint of sour with a strong ABV (8.5%) that would make your head hurt if the flavors were artificial crap. It only comes in 22oz bombers, which is probably all I would really want to drink at one time. Greg and I both got our own from Travis’s new store, the Hoppy Dog, a few nights ago and you should too!

Fucked Up Friday Night: Starr Hill Boxcar Pumpkin Porter

The Animal — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 13:33:11 +0000

The name of this beer is a mouthful. Then again so is a sweaty, dirt crusted hobo cock. I was going to say that I’ve seen hobos sucking each other’s dicks while hanging out by railroad tracks but that would be unfair to hobos. It’s crackheads that I’ve seen sucking each other’s mangled junk, who just so happen to think that engaging in such nastiness next to the railroad tracks is a good idea. One time when I was in Atlanta I climbed up along the decommissioned line that is now being converted into the Beltline Project. I walked around the side of an old abandoned warehouse to piss only to almost run directly into a pair of filthy, shirtless men slobbing each others’ stinking fuck sticks. I nearly vomited when they briefly made eye contact with me and went right back to their mouth sexings. Goddam street rats! Why can’t I just enjoy railroad tracks in peace without having to worry about seeing a bunch of fringe class weirdos banging each other? I want to drink this delicious fall brew down by the tracks but I’m afraid some errant vagrant sperm might come blasting out of the bushes and land in my beer. Gross! This beer is too tasty to risk it.

Best Friends Day 10

Barf — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 01:16:15 +0000

Best Friends Day 10 is this week in Richmond, Virginia. This is a tradition of bringing together friends from all over the world for a weekend of bands, events, and good times. You like good times, right?

Open publication – Free publishing – More bestfriendsday

BEST FRIENDS DAY 10: THE GRADUATION
Thursday, August 18th
@The Bike Lot
Doors at 6 pm
$15
Zero Boys
Ceremony
Off With Their Heads
Screaming Females
Worn in Red

Friday, August 19th
Mojo’s
11 am- FEILD DAY SIGN UP
12 pm- SHOW
FREESexy Crimes
Grown Ass Men

Friday Aug 19th
@Strange Matter
Doors at 2 pm
Show at 3 pm
$5Dear Landlord
Max Levine Ensemble
Big Eyes

Friday Aug 19th
Doors at 6 pm
Show at 7 pm
@Canal Club
SOLD OUTConverge
Pg.99
Strike Anywhere
Dead to Me
The Catalyst
Capsule

Saturday, August 20th
@Fine Foods Grocery 10 am
FREENight Birds
Saturday Aug 20th
@Random Bus to HadadsMikey Erg
@Random Bus to HadadsKevin Seconds

Saturday Aug 20th (day show)
@Hadads Lake
Doors at 10 a.m.
Bands at 11:30
$25
Against Me!
Baroness
7 Seconds
Big Freedia
The Dopamines
No BS Brass Band
New Creases
Tubers
The Haverchucks

Sunday, August 21st
@The Bike Lot
Doors at 1:00
$15
Corrosion of Conformity
Victims
Jesuit
Iron Lung
Magrudergrind
Little Ozzy
Dry Spell
TIMES AND EVENTS ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE.

Fucked Up Friday Night: Oranjeboom

The Animal — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 14:45:06 +0000

This is one of those Trader Joe’s mega cheap brews that most people know about. Grampy put me on it after I told him how much I thought Simple Times tasted like Bigfoot’s dick sweat. And man, Grampy was right! Oranjeboom is delicious for an ultra cheap/not day beer. It comes in tall boys and is like $6 for a sixer… of tall boys! How can you go wrong? And like I said, it tastes pretty fucking great. Stock up and stop drinking Budweiser, which tastes like the goo you would get from Bigfoot’s anal glands if you had them expressed like you do for a dog. Thanks Grampy, and happy birthday!

Fucked Up Friday Nights: Marin Brewery Company

The Animal — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 13:38:55 +0000

My wife Brionna and I camped at Point Reyes before coming into SF a few weeks ago and I picked these two local brews up from a market before we went into the park. We had to hike about two miles into the spot and it’s generally a bad idea to bring beer in glass bottles on hiking trips (that’s what a flask of whiskey is for.) It didn’t help that neither of us bothered to get a back pack or wear proper clothing/footwear. We tied our sleeping bags and tent to my messenger bag and she carried food and beer in an old tennis bag. Stupid, right? Well we made it and the spot was rad with a sweet view over looking Drake’s Bay. I started with the Weiss but wasn’t too stoked on it… maybe because it was getting cold and hefes seem like warm weather beers. That didn’t keep me from drinking it though. I gotta get drunk after all! The Point Reyes Porter was way better and well suited to the colder night temperatures. This is a rad part of the country!

Marin Brewing Company

Fucked Up Friday Night: Russian River Consecration

The Animal — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 16:38:17 +0000

Like I said last week, can’t find RR out East so I’ve been drinking it up at every opportunity. I had this weird beast at Small Bar in SD while hanging out with our homie Chris Hope and his lady love Lori. Awesome people and awesome beer! Well, actually I’m not too sure about this beer. It was very very wine-like… a quality I normally despise. However, I had just downed an Avery 18th Anniversary so I was in a good mood and open to trying something new. This “American Wild” (as RR coins the vartietal) is an oddball. Much like Dogfish’s Red n Black, it is a brew unto it’s own. Just check out the reviews on Beer Advocate if you wanna get in depth.

Fucked Up Friday Night: Russian River Damnation

The Animal — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 13:47:07 +0000

For a long while, I heard tell of a brewery with such delicious Belgian style ales that could not be procured very far beyond the Western seaboard. It was the Russian River brewery that I had been told of and it was true that their beers were impossible to find… until I got to San Francisco! I went into a corner bar called Zeitgesit after setting up my art show at Rare Device and dropping flyers at DLX. I didn’t know when I walked in that the place had an awesome beer selection and was apparently on of the “cool people” spots in town. Cool or lame… they had plenty of awesome beer! Including the mythical Russian River Damnation (a Belgian gold). The reputation lived up to the hype for sure! This brew is delicious and I am now pissed that I will not be able to get it back in Virginia.

Fucked Up Friday Night: The Pickle Back

The Animal — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 16:44:27 +0000

So this is kind of a trend drink or whatever but our homie Dave, who we are living with while in LA, bartends at an Irish bar in Downtown so it makes sense that they serve them, and it makes sense that we drink them. Basically, it’s a shot of Jameson followed by a pickle juice chaser, thus a “pickle back.” It’s pretty tasty stuff and the bar Dave works in makes their own pickle juice which is so delicious that other bars in the area buy it from them. In addition to tasting great, it gets you really fucked up and makes you kick down doors and jump on cars… that’s the kind of drunk I like to get.

Fucked Up Friday Night: Bootlegger Black Phoenix

The Animal — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 06:54:11 +0000

Dave and I split a 22 of this at the bar the other night, not because we are lightweights or nothing. It was because it was advertised as being a dark stout brewed with coffee and chipotle. That could be a bad combo… and sadly it was. Not because it tasted too strongly of either flavor but because it tasted weak. The coffee flavor was barely there (which is fine by me since I hate coffee) and the chipotle was just the slightest after taste. These things would have been fine but it was lacking in all the other strengths one would expect from a strong stout. Bummer.

Fucked Up Friday Night: Jolly Pumpkin Bam Biere

The Animal — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 05:20:26 +0000

Spent the night in Ann Arbor Michigan last night and it’s a nice town. University of Michigan is there and it’s fucking enormous! But who cares about that… this is about beer! My wifey and I ate dinner at this brew/pub spot called Grizzly Peaks Brewery that was pretty good but they’ve got a sister brewery/restaurant called the Jolly Pumpkin that really kills it on the beer selection. I tried a couple but the real stand out was their BAM Biere, a farmhouse ale with a dog that looks like our beast, Chance. It was stellar and somehow I got real drunk even though I only had a few beers. I don’t know how it happened but I liked it! This place is well worth a stop if you are in this part of the world.